People say after a fire it's water damage that's the worst. We're still drying out Windsor Castle.

It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from school art lessons.

If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.

Oh! You're the people ruining the rivers.

Well, you didn't design your beard too well, did you?

There's a cord sticking out of the back. Might you tell me where it goes?

"It looks as though it was put in by an Indian." He later backtracked: "I meant to say cowboys."