People say after a fire it's water damage that's the worst. We're still drying out Windsor Castle.

Well, you didn't design your beard too well, did you?

There's a lot of your family in tonight.

Are you running away from something?

I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer.

If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design of less noise and more comfort - provided you don't travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly.

Do you work in a strip club?