It's my custom to say something flattering to begin with so I shall be excused if I put my foot in it later on.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer.

I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.

You look like you're ready for bed!

A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.

What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer.