Ah, you're the one who wrote the letter. So you can write then.
[after accepting a gift from a Kenyan woman] You are a woman, aren't you?
In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.
I suppose I'd get in trouble if I were to melt them down.
You bloody silly fool!
Why don't you go and live in a hostel to save cash?