In the days when the nation depended on agriculture for its wealth it made the Lord Chancellor sit on a woolsack to remind him where the wealth came from. I would like to suggest we remove that now and make him sit on a crate of machine tools.

All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.

Aren't most of you descended from pirates?

A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.

Ah, you're the one who wrote the letter. So you can write then.

Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species.

It's difficult to see how it's possible to become immensely valuable by singing what are the most hideous songs.