In the days when the nation depended on agriculture for its wealth it made the Lord Chancellor sit on a woolsack to remind him where the wealth came from. I would like to suggest we remove that now and make him sit on a crate of machine tools.

I suppose I'd get in trouble if I were to melt them down.

Well, you didn't design your beard too well, did you?

Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf.

We live in what virtually amounts to a museum - which does not happen to a lot of people.

It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.

We go into the red next year... I shall have to give up polo.