Ah, you're the one who wrote the letter. So you can write then.

Aren't most of you descended from pirates?

Who is going to be the first to face up to the need for self-restraint in the number of children brought into the world?

All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.

Do you work in a strip club?

I just wonder what it would be like to be reincarnated in an animal whose species had been so reduced in numbers than it was in danger of extinction. What would be its feelings toward the human species whose population explosion had denied it somewhere to exist. I must confess that I am tempted to ask for reincarnation as a particularly deadly virus.

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.