During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.
How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?
There's a lot of your family in tonight.
A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.
It's a vast waste of space.
The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.