During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

That's more than you know about anything else then.

A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.

I suppose I'd get in trouble if I were to melt them down.

Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?

"It looks as though it was put in by an Indian." He later backtracked: "I meant to say cowboys."

Constitutionally I don't exist.