"It looks as though it was put in by an Indian." He later backtracked: "I meant to say cowboys."

Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?

You look like you're ready for bed!

In the end we must, I think, somehow conclude that they have as much right to this planet as we have.

In the days when the nation depended on agriculture for its wealth it made the Lord Chancellor sit on a woolsack to remind him where the wealth came from. I would like to suggest we remove that now and make him sit on a crate of machine tools.

Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.