You look like you're ready for bed!

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease.

You look like you're ready for bed!

Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I've practised for many years.

A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now everybody's got more leisure time they're complaining they're unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want.

Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant.