You don't have to do anything.

Vienna is cold, and dark, and sad. It is laid out as though for a royal parade; the streets are wide and they're flanked by monumental buildings, decorated with the faces of angry gods. And on the roof are statues of national heroes, wielding weapons of destruction.

Politics are not an instrument for effecting social change; they are the art of making the inevitable appear to be a matter of wise human choice.

America believes in freedom. The English don't believe in it. They don't believe in happiness.

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

The programs constantly repeat themselves and one another. No one has yet had the nerve to say, 'As we have nothing sensible to tell you between now and 8:30, please tune in again then.