There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?'

I learned very early in life that I was always going to need people more than they needed me

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.

As a test of the closeness of your relationship with the world, sex could never be a patch on being murdered. (That's when someone really does risk his life for you.)

The Scots are very hospitable; almost as hospitable as the Americans.

I don't know how people act. I've never understood that.