There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

Most men when they make up their faces, the makeup stands forward, and their faces are behind.

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.

If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.

I never really found out what love was.

If you live in America, you don't have to work. You can just drift along in the smiling and nodding racket.

I learned very early in life that I was always going to need people more than they needed me