Nowadays people don't use face powder; they say it dries the skin. But I makeup in the old-fashioned way.

Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.

The trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.

I now realize that education is a last wild effort on the part of the authorities to prevent an overdose of leisure from driving the world mad. Learning is no longer an improver; it is merely the most expensive time-filler the world has ever known.

An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.

I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.

A gentleman doesn't pounce he glides. If a woman sits on a piece of furniture which permits your sitting beside her, you are free to regard this as an invitation, though not an unequivocal one.