I am asked how to remain young, and I say 'Never, never work.' And that, of course, is the secret of it.

It's a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.

Other-cheekism is not only a way of purifying the soul, it is also part of every weak person's survival kit.

Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.

Politics are not an instrument for effecting social change; they are the art of making the inevitable appear to be a matter of wise human choice.

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

I never spend my time doing anything I'll have to do again tomorrow.