We all have a few failures under our belt. It's what makes us ready for the successes.

The grass is always greener once you don't have to mow a lawn anymore.

Desperate is not a sexual preference.

It hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn't match what you dreamed it would be.

I barely trust established sources of information. I have a hard time finding [Wikipedia], an encyclopedia that anyone can alter, to be a safe way to learn about anything except how many idiots think their opinions are a suitable substitute for facts.

That's the thing about marriage. It's a shell game we play with ourselves. We're the suckers and we have to lose, but we play anyway because we lie to ourselves that we can win.

Why do we have to wait for special moments to say nice things or tell people we care about them?