Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.
You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.
I still feel like an immature idiot inside, but I look in the mirror and - as a friend of mine once said- this old guy keeps getting in the way.
My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.
When you wake up one day and say, "You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again." Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).