Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.

If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.

Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.

The best comedy, I feel, comes in a drama because it balances each other out.

The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.

Without identical twins, you'll never get to experience entering a hotel room with one of them and watching him run into the full-length mirror because he though he saw his brother.

It's starting to feel good, although I don't like feeling too good - that's not where my comedy comes from.