I still feel like an immature idiot inside, but I look in the mirror and - as a friend of mine once said- this old guy keeps getting in the way.

Mike Royce and I have always had success writing what we know. What we know now is that we're middle-aged, neurotic and fat.

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.

I don't want to be a spokesman for family values, but that's the way my standup is perceived.

I don't know if you want to see the Everybody Loves Raymond guy in a nude scene.

You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.

If golf wasn't enjoyable and there wasn't a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.