If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.

The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play.

I did 15 shows a week when I lived in New York. I did five shows on a Friday and seven shows on a Saturday. It was everything I did and it was my sole source of income.

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.

As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.

I don't know if you want to see the Everybody Loves Raymond guy in a nude scene.