Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.

The only thing I miss from the sitcom format is that immediate gratification of when you're, if we're talking about comedy, of the live audience.

Without identical twins, you'll never get to experience entering a hotel room with one of them and watching him run into the full-length mirror because he though he saw his brother.

I don't know if you want to see the Everybody Loves Raymond guy in a nude scene.

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

Right after 'Raymond' I had a world-is-my-oyster attitude, but I found out I don't like oysters. I had this existential emptiness.'What is my purpose? Who am I?' I had a big identity crisis.