Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, Are you sure it's a chest cold? Never got a dinner!

Lee Iacocca, who said to Dolly Parton, Why do you need an airbag? Never got a dinner!

Moses, who said when the Red Sea parted, What the hell was that? I was just going in for a dip! Never got a dinner!

Joan Rivers, who said to Marcel Marceau, Can we talk? Never got a dinner!

Dean Martin's great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, who said to Eli Whitney, I see the cotton, but where's the gin? Never got a dinner!

Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, It's only a nickname. Never got a dinner!