Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits... Never got a dinner!

Dean Martin's great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, who said to Eli Whitney, I see the cotton, but where's the gin? Never got a dinner!

Moshe Dayan, who said to Sammy Davis, Jr., That's funny, to me you only look half Jewish. Never got a dinner!

Uncle Remus, who said to Uncle Ben, You're a credit to your rice. Never got a dinner!

Zsa Zsa Gabor, the only woman ever to apply for group alimony. Never got a dinner!

Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!