Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits... Never got a dinner!

Pope John Paul II's press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner!

George Washington, who said to his father, Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President? Never got a dinner!

Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner!

Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You're flat! Never got a dinner!

Burt Reynolds, great sex symbol of the movies, who said, I owe it all to one great part. Never got a dinner!

Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!