Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits... Never got a dinner!

Julius Caesar's wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner!

George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.

Dean Martin's great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, who said to Eli Whitney, I see the cotton, but where's the gin? Never got a dinner!

Jacques Cousteau, the last man to see Jimmy Hoffa. Never got a dinner!

Lot, who said to his wife as she was being turned into a pillar of salt, Stop shaking! Never got a dinner!

Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!