Abraham Lincoln, who said, A house divided... is a condominium. Never got a dinner!

Dean Martin's pancreas, who overheard his liver singing I got a right to sing the blues. Never got a dinner!

Sydney Poitier, who said to Lester Maddox, Guess who's not coming to dinner? Never got a dinner!

Moshe Dayan, who said to Sammy Davis, Jr., That's funny, to me you only look half Jewish. Never got a dinner!

Goliath's mother, who said to Goliath, Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned! Never got a dinner!

Sophia Loren, whose new baby asked her, Is all that for me? Never got a dinner!

Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!