Abraham Lincoln, who said, A house divided... is a condominium. Never got a dinner!

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!

When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time.

King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!

Elizabeth Taylor has a big heart. She recently built a halfway house for girls who don't want to go all the way.