Clint Eastwood's sex therapist, who said to Clint, Do it any which way you can, but no sudden impact. Never got a dinner!

The Invisible Man, who said to his wife, I don't care if it looks silly, don't stop! Never got a dinner!

Steven Spielberg's mother, who said to E.T., I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed! Never got a dinner!

Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner!

Ben Hur, who said to his sister Ben Him, We'd better swap names before they start calling me Ben Gay! Never got a dinner!

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!