Billy Carter, who asked his brother Jimmy, Do you think you could get me on the Gong Show? Never got a dinner!

Moshe Dayan, who said to Sammy Davis, Jr., That's funny, to me you only look half Jewish. Never got a dinner!

Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!

Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!

Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You're flat! Never got a dinner!

Sophia Loren, whose new baby asked her, Is all that for me? Never got a dinner!

John Wilkes Booth, who said, Sorry, I thought he was a critic. Never got a dinner!