Billy Carter, who asked his brother Jimmy, Do you think you could get me on the Gong Show? Never got a dinner!

Gandhi, who went to Wendy's and asked, "Where's the belief?" Never got a dinner!

Simon Peter, who embarrassed the other disciples at the Last Supper by asking for seconds. Never got a dinner!

Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!

Moses, who said when the Red Sea parted, What the hell was that? I was just going in for a dip! Never got a dinner!

Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!

Helen of Troy, a hooker from Upstate New York. Never got a dinner!