Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!

Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!

Ben Hur, who said to his sister Ben Him, We'd better swap names before they start calling me Ben Gay! Never got a dinner!

Clint Eastwood's sex therapist, who said to Clint, Do it any which way you can, but no sudden impact. Never got a dinner!

John Wilkes Booth, who said, Sorry, I thought he was a critic. Never got a dinner!

Saint Christopher, who said, Where can I get a Frank Sinatra medal? Never got a dinner!

Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!