Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.

Exactly how intricate a sport is jogging? You were two years old. You ran after the cat. You pretty much had it mastered

I was a terrible Sugar Babies addict, so I had more cavities than the surface of the moon.

Never let anyone tell you sports doesn't matter. Never let them tell you it's all about the wins, the losses and the stats. Sports is so much more than that.

The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.

College football is LSU's Tiger Stadium at night.

Im afraid Wisconsin is you, Nebraska, only with much better parties and more wins.