Someone asked me what three things I would save if my house was on fire. I said my cat, my salamander and one of the twins.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side!

Spirituality really lost its way when it became a stick to beat people with: ‘Do this or you’ll burn in hell.

Your God is the best God. In fact, he's the only God. All other Gods are ridiculous, made up rubbish. Not yours though. Yours is real.

Got a proper job at 28. Gave it up to try comedy at 38. Decided to get fit and healthy at 48. It's never too late. But do it now

I think what makes us human is those choices - whether to tell the truth or not.

The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're good at their job and they're there for the customer. The only depressing thing is a lot of them have written more screenplays than me.