The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're good at their job and they're there for the customer. The only depressing thing is a lot of them have written more screenplays than me.

Being on the edge isn't as safe, but the view is better

It will be great to play a short, fat sweaty loser for a change.

You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway.

Do this or you’ll burn in hell.

I think the job of a comedian is to make people laugh, but also challenge them to laugh at things they didn't know they could until now.

I think everyone has the ability to be loved.