When I direct my own scripts, it's much easier as it's been in my head for a year already... What I love about this is having an idea and seeing it come to fruition on screen. I would like to direct someone else's script one day, but I might not get round to it before I die - you can't legislate for being hit by a bus!

She said, 'I'm your biggest fan,' and I said, 'Who are you?' She said, 'Paris Hilton.'

Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.

I don't think a comedian should even be concerned with being cool or sexy, as soon as you do, you aren't a comedian any more. Looks are still the most important thing for women when it comes to meeting a partner. And that's fair enough, but a sense of humour is really important too. For starters, it's a great indicator of whether you are going to get on. If the first time you go on a date you don't find each other funny, there's a fundamental problem.

You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway.

That's what life is, it's the small struggles. You walk down the street for half an hour, you see half an hour of drama. You don't need convoluted plot lines. You don't need long-lost brothers. You don't need it's set on the future; it's set on the moon.

Try something. And never be afraid to fail. That failure is useful too. It's just another building block.