Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks

Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

Someone asked me what three things I would save if my house was on fire. I said my cat, my salamander and one of the twins.

Our challenge with "The Office" and "Extras" was to get it completely scripted but to find a cast that could make it look like they were saying it for the first time.

Saying atheism is a belief system is like saying not going skiing is a hobby.

Next time someone tells me they believe in God, I'll say 'Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?...' If they say 'Just God. I only believe in the one God,' I'll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don't believe in 2,870 gods, and they don't believe in 2,869.

Dear Religion, This week I safely dropped a man from space while you shot a child in the head for wanting to go to school. Yours, Science.