Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.

Someone trying to be funny probably isn't as funny as someone who doesn't want to be funny but is and can't help it. Someone being serious or angry might be funny. If you get angry, the first thing I want to do is laugh because I don't know why you're getting that angry. Pathos makes me laugh, funerals make me laugh.

I never think of myself as a celebrity - or even an actor, actually. I think of myself as a writer-director.

It’s a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. It’s the opposite. We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for.

I don't think it matters if there is a god or not. I've met people who believe in God that are good and that are bad. And I've met people who don't believe in God that are good and that are bad. So, just be good. I'm good. Not cos I think I'll go to heaven but because when I do something bad, I feel bad. And when I do something good, I feel good.

I fought a bear once. But it started crying, so I let it off.

I'm not a person that's easily embarrassed, but I'm embarrassed for other people.