Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.

People have let me down in the past. I've loved something, and it's become a disgrace. I'd rather start again.

If all the Atheists & Agnostics left America, they'd lose 93% of The National Academy of Sciences & less than 1% of the prison population.

Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks

The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're good at their job and they're there for the customer. The only depressing thing is a lot of them have written more screenplays than me.

Be happy. It really annoys negative people.

Got a proper job at 28. Gave it up to try comedy at 38. Decided to get fit and healthy at 48. It's never too late. But do it now