You are the result of billions of years of evolution. You will only live for a few years and will never exist again. Absolutely beautiful

Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.

Next time someone tells me they believe in God, I'll say 'Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?...' If they say 'Just God. I only believe in the one God,' I'll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don't believe in 2,870 gods, and they don't believe in 2,869.

A world without any lies at all is not a good world, because it's artless and because there are no white lies, no flattery.

Enjoy life. Have fun. Be kind. Have worth. Have friends. Be honest. Laugh. Die with dignity. Make the most of it. It's all we've got.

Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

Comedy is a medicine - a healing process that can help people get through difficult times and understand things better