She said, 'I'm your biggest fan,' and I said, 'Who are you?' She said, 'Paris Hilton.'

Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right. Some people are offended by mixed marriage, gay people, atheism. So what? F*** 'em.

It will be great to play a short, fat sweaty loser for a change.

I've never been insulted by hateful satanists for not believing in their devil. Only by loving Christians for not believing in their God.

Opinions don't affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you're rational

I remember the first check I got for 'The Office,' and it made me feel sad. It ruined it. ... Because there was sort of a nobility in poverty.

Honor is a gift a man gives himself. You can be as good as anyone that ever lived. If you can read, you can learn everything that anyone ever learned. But you've got to want it.