Life is just a series of peaks and troughs. And you don't know whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out, or on a peak until you're coming down. And that's it you know, you never know what's round the corner. But it's all good. "If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain." Do you know which "philosopher" said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits.

Suggesting I hate people with religion because I hate religion is like suggesting I hate people with cancer because I hate cancer.

Sometimes I'll be confident and go into a shop and say, "Hello, yeah, all right," and then the next day, if someone looks at me or talks to me, I just don't know what to do. If you're walking down the street with a baseball cap, you might be fine. But if you're in a pub and you see someone look at you, you think the worst thing in the world now is if they come over. It's a really weird feeling.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if you believe in god, you're wrong.

It will be great to play a short, fat sweaty loser for a change.

The simple fact is, offense is taken, not given.

If there is a God, why did he make me an atheist?