I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens.

Growing up, the two things that made my blood boil were religious intolerance and animal cruelty. I’ve never understood it. I can’t stand to have an animal in pain.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

Everyday life is interesting enough, whether it be in an office or being ignored on the set of something supposedly more glamorous.

Where there's a will - there's a relative!

America champions the underdog. We champion the underdog until he's not the underdog anymore, and he annoys us.

I was okay with singing. I always sneak a song into everything I do. Dancing, a little awkward. Little embarrassed about that. I don't move well. But I was with a frog, so it doesn't matter. I'll do anything with a frog, that's my motto. He's great with tap-dancing or flap-dancing on my head. So no one's going to be looking at me when we're doing that dance. They're going to be saying, 'There's a frog dancing'.