What will it feel like after you die? Exactly the same as it felt for those billions of years before you were born.

Opinions don't affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you're rational

I remember the first check I got for 'The Office,' and it made me feel sad. It ruined it. ... Because there was sort of a nobility in poverty.

Dear Religion, This week I safely dropped a man from space while you shot a child in the head for wanting to go to school. Yours, Science.

The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.

Be happy. It really annoys negative people.

That's what life is, it's the small struggles. You walk down the street for half an hour, you see half an hour of drama. You don't need convoluted plot lines. You don't need long-lost brothers. You don't need it's set on the future; it's set on the moon.