People have let me down in the past. I've loved something, and it's become a disgrace. I'd rather start again.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

To complain about critics in a business is like a sailor complaining about the waves. Go back to the beach if you don't like it.

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

We didn't evolve; God made us. So I just want to explain to you exactly how that happened... Some of the things you'll hear do sound a little bit far-fetched. I admit that. Then I found out that the other name for The Bible is The Gospel, so it is all true. Luckily, the clue is in the title.

Just looking at all the faces here reminds me of some of the great work that was done this year . . . by cosmetic surgeons.

Thank you God for making me an atheist.