The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.

My philosophy? Have a laugh for as long as you can and don't get run over. Or stabbed.

Remember, no one can hurt your feelings without your permission

Growing up, the two things that made my blood boil were religious intolerance and animal cruelty. I’ve never understood it. I can’t stand to have an animal in pain.

A world without any lies at all is not a good world, because it's artless and because there are no white lies, no flattery.

I never think of myself as a celebrity - or even an actor, actually. I think of myself as a writer-director.

I remember one review of The Office Christmas Special that compared it unfavourably to Dickens. What? You're saying I'm not as good as the greatest storyteller ever. Boo! Boo! I think I can live with that.