If all the Atheists & Agnostics left America, they'd lose 93% of The National Academy of Sciences & less than 1% of the prison population.

Next time someone tells me they believe in God, I'll say 'Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?...' If they say 'Just God. I only believe in the one God,' I'll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don't believe in 2,870 gods, and they don't believe in 2,869.

For any of you who don't know, the Golden Globes are just like the Oscars, but without all that esteem. The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton. A bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker, and more easily bought.

Piracy doesn't kill music, boy bands do.

You now have the least amount of time you've ever had, to do everything you've ever wanted to do. Enjoy your life. You only get one

It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast.

There's no difference between fame and infamy now. There's a new school of professional famous people that don't do anything. They don't create anything.