My ideal meal would probably be the cheesiest pasta or pizza, followed by something creamy and chocolaty. I mean, just the worst things, really.

A joke isn't yours. It's used and you don't know where it's been.

I never had a plan. I just sort of ambled along, doing exactly what I wanted every day of my life.

We shouldn't even need the word 'atheism'. If people didn't invent ridiculous imaginary gods, rational people wouldn't have to deny them.

Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks

I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.

When someone thanks God, I don't get offended.