I peed in my wife's boot once. On honeymoon, in Madrid, we were drinking absinthe and somehow made it back to our hotel. I don't remember a second of this, but my wife woke up to this noise. Two of her boots were in the corner, one had fallen down and the other was standing up and I was peeing into it! It was a hole, and it looked like a toilet. She said: "Rob, wake up, you're peeing into my shoe!"

The show is a satire, which gives us freedom to do anything we want. Satire is the magic word that wipes away any culpability. The media is jealous of this freedom.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

Apparently it's cool to watch The Daily Show.

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

My mother was very, very Protestant. I grew up Presbyterian, and I went to church every Sunday until I was 18. I was forced to.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.