Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes.

It makes me sad that corporations and media and Hollywood conspire to make people feel terrible about their bodies from the second they wake up ,so I sort of try to subversively undercut that.

Depression taught me the importance of compassion and hard work, and that you can overcome enormous obstacles.

I had always loved comedy, and acted out Steve Martin and Bill Cosby albums with my sister for my parents on road trips and stuff, and I loved to laugh and make people laugh.

I don't think of marriage as the drudge work that a lot of sitcoms and movies might have shown it to be, I think it's more deadly murderous rage, unadulterated passion, soul-crushing purgatorial dread... It's more interesting.

Well, Mitt Romney is a very attractive comedic target. He’s irresistible to me. I mean seriously, I want to pay less attention to him.

With Twitter, you just want to make people laugh in their meeting; on stage, people have paid for their tickets with their hard-earned money, so I owe them the truth as I experience it.