Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes.

Running is special. We've all done it: well, poorly, focused, in fear, being pursued, toward a goal. It's just elemental. Running is like fire.

I'm a comedian at the beginning and the end of the day. I'm not affiliated with any campaign, nor do I generally find politics interesting enough to plan to be involved.

If you have an opinion on what other adults do consensually with other adults when they take their pants off, you're a weirdo.

But I also know in standup, there's nowhere to hide. You get on stage and you deliver, or you are eviscerated and you are thrown into a pile of bodies at the bottom of a mountain.

Depression taught me the importance of compassion and hard work, and that you can overcome enormous obstacles.

On Twitter, I just want to make you laugh at all costs.