Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.

Never pick up a stray kitten . . . unless you've already made up your mind to be owned by it.

If you pray hard enough, water will run uphill. How hard? Why, hard enough to make water run uphill, of course!

Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long before he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money but long on hugs

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Thinking doesn't pay. Just makes you discontented with what you see around you.

It's a man's business to be what he is, and to be it in style.