Most personal correspondence of today consists of letters the first half of which are given over to an indexed statement of why the writer hasn't written before, followed by one paragraph of small talk, with the remainder devoted to reasons why it is imperative that the letter be brought to a close.
Robert BenchleyA real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Robert BenchleyIn a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.
Robert BenchleyThis is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
Robert BenchleyA great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.
Robert Benchley