A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.

There are two ways to travel, first class or with children.

If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.

When we think back to our forefathers, with their sedentary lives of forest-chopping, railroad-building, fortune-founding, their fox-hunting and Indian taming, their prancing about in the mazurka and the polka, with their coattails flying and their bustles bouncing, to say nothing of their all-day sessions with the port and straight bourbon,... we must realize that we are a nation, not of neurasthenics, but of sissies and slow-motion sports.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.