A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

If you are one of the hewers of wood and drawers of small weekly paychecks, your letters will have to contain some few items of news or they will be accounted dry stuff.... But if you happen to be of a literary turn of mind, or are, in any way, likely to become famous, you may settle down to an afternoon of letter-writing on nothing more sprightly in the way of news than the shifting of the wind from south to south-east.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties.

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one

This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as "regulations" but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.