The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

I once heard a woman laugh at that most tragic moment in all drama, the off-stage shot in "The Wild Duck," and I afterward had her killed, so there will be no more of that out of her.

I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of

But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties.