Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't.

Who said time machines haven't been built yet? They already exist. They're called books

People who begin sentences with "I may be old-fashioned but--" are usually not only old-fashioned but wrong. I never thought the time would come when I should catch myself leading off with that crack. But I feel it coming on right now.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of

If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.

I never knew anyone yet who got up at six who did anything more useful between that time and breakfast than banging a tennis ballup against the side of the house, waiting for the more civilized members of the party to get up.

Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.