The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.

I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

Work is a form of nervousness.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.