The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk.

Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.

All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get out a new book by him each year.